You are so smart.

I hate it when people say that to me. I am not smart, you are just lazy

Imagine if I walked up to a big muscle bound body builder and said “wow, lucky you being born with all those big muscles” I am simultaneously absolving him of the hard work he has put into it and absolving myself of the desire to ever do anything similar. It’s the same thing. Except I work out my mind.

I am not smart, I have no greater capacity for resolving issues that is not dependant on all the other information I have studied. I do not have a better memory, show me a random list of numbers and I will remember just as many as the next guy (unless I read about or figure out some trick later on, and work toward being able to accomplish such a task with a much greater proficiency) Give me a logic puzzle or an IQ test, and I will probably score about average (not that these things are any good anyway). But show me a 3D object and I can probably rotate it mentally much better than the average person, but that is because I have spent 10 years doing 3D design and modeling.

When I taught myself to weld, it took practice, practice and more practice. When I taught myself to cut ¼” steel plate with an oxyacetylene torch, it took more than eight overall hours hunched over a 1300 degree flame in thick welders gloves, regulating your speed, the angle of the torch, the oxygen flow, the height of the tip over the metal, etc. etc. None of these things did I pick up and dive right into and perform superlatively. However, I do find that with every new skill I acquire through hard work and effort that later skills seem to become easier and easier. When I read I slow down and think about each sentence, if I did not grasp the sentence and it’s implications, I read it over again, slower, and contemplate it more.

When people hear you talk about something you have studied in depth and thought about for hours and hours, and they respond by saying ‘you’re really smart’ what they are really doing is insulting all the hard work and effort you put into acquiring that knowledge and skill set and excusing themselves from the responsibility of living up to their own potential.

Every single moment of my life, every single moment of anyone’s life, they must choose to think or not think, to progress or to regress, to act or to stagnate. Saying ‘you are so smart’ to me trivializes the massive internal struggle I have trying to stay true to my goals and dreams and trying to always, always work toward them, working toward creating a world more in line with what I want.

Is it truly a responsibility we have to live up to our highest potential? I don’t know. Some things are nice to relax and enjoy, and my mind and body are not a set of gears on a crank, you need to take breaks. But should you always be relaxing? No, maybe after we achieve indefinite life spans, sure, then relax, enjoy life. But I think I could work even harder than I am if I could stay motivated and ambitious enough (I will be ordering some more modafinil soon). But pursuing the things you love lead to your happiness, and identifying and setting out long term goals and a salient plan to accomplish those goals will make you happier person, as will achieving those goals.

Michael